Sometimes, when I’ve had a few pops, I go on Amazon and do some present shopping for myself. Last time it was a 30-pack of socks and a book I still haven’t read, but this time around, I decided that my arms and core were too weak, and so I…

The first thing my son always does when he gets out of bed is brush his teeth. Not a cursory scrub, either. At least ten seconds is spent per tooth, and when each is shining, he spends another two minutes flossing. Finally, he swishes mouthwash with an energy matched only…

“You don’t mess with a banker.” It was a famous phrase, that much I knew, but I couldn’t remember who said it first. Buddha? Gandhi? Mother Theresa? It was one of them, for sure. …

“I’m going to make tacos, I think. We’ve got leftover veg and we probably shouldn’t let it go bad.” “Tacos are fine.” “I told Janelle — you remember Janelle? From work? Wore that hideous green dress to the Christmas party two years ago?” Silence. “You’d remember if you saw her…

She always preferred to gather flowers early. In the beauty of dawn, there was a chill to the air that clung to her skin and raised the hairs on her arms and legs. Dew on the tall stalks of grass dampened her shoes as she stepped carefully along an overgrown…

That creature — that detestable beast — that barn owl — now haunts me even in my slumber, my last bastion of sanity. No longer content at the peripherals of my vision, a shadow on my days, it invades a once-peaceful time, my little death between the grindings of life…